The Invisible Weight: A Closer Look at the Increasing Rate of Withdrawn GBV Cases in SA 

“Why didn’t she report it?” “If it were me, I would’ve left.” “She must have been lying if she withdrew the case.” “Why waste police time if you’re not going to follow through?” “I would never let someone treat me like that.” 

We’ve all heard these conversations. Perhaps we’ve even found ourselves thinking similar thoughts when hearing about GBV cases that get withdrawn. It’s human nature to believe we would handle situations differently, to assume we would be braver, stronger, or more decisive. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: until you’ve lived the reality of abuse, until you’ve felt the suffocating weight of an abuser’s control, until you’ve faced the impossible choice between your safety and justice, you simply cannot know what you would do. 

The statistics behind these everyday assumptions are staggering: An estimated 80-90% of intimate partner violence cases are never reported to authorities, and when cases are reported, up to 40% may be withdrawn before trial, based on provincial police data. Withdrawal refers to victims formally dropping charges after initially reporting, often before or during prosecution. 

These numbers aren’t just statistics; they represent real women making impossible decisions while navigating systems, relationships, and circumstances that most of us will never fully comprehend. Behind every withdrawn case is a story of survival, strategy, and often, a desperate attempt to regain some control in a situation where control has been systematically stripped away. 

This month, we’re pulling back the curtain on this phenomenon. Not to judge, not to oversimplify, but to understand. Because the conversations we have around our dinner tables, in our offices, and in our communities shape how survivors are received when they need support most. 

Survivors of GBV deserve nothing but respect, grace and dignity, especially in how they choose to deal with their situation and manage it. Not pressure, not shame, and not gaslighting or blame. And certainly not the burden of our uninformed assumptions about what we think we would do in their place. 

Understanding the “Why” Behind Withdrawal 

When we see these statistics, our first instinct might be to question why survivors withdraw their cases. But the truth is, withdrawal is rarely about the survivor changing their mind about what happened. Instead, it’s often a complex decision shaped by multiple interconnected factors that operate beneath the surface of what we can see. 

Financial dependency often traps survivors in impossible situations. When an abuser is the primary breadwinner, pursuing legal action can mean losing housing, healthcare, or necessities. The question becomes not just “Will justice be served?” but “Will I be able to feed myself, or my children, tomorrow?” 

Safety concerns frequently intensify after reporting. Abusers may escalate their threats or violence when they feel cornered by the legal system. For many survivors, withdrawal becomes a calculated decision to protect themselves and their loved ones from further harm. 

Secondary trauma within the justice system itself can be overwhelming. Being questioned repeatedly, having your credibility challenged, or facing lengthy delays can feel like reliving the abuse repeatedly. When the process meant to bring justice becomes another source of trauma, withdrawal can feel like the only way to reclaim some control. 

Family and community pressure add another layer of complexity. Cultural expectations, religious beliefs, or family dynamics may push survivors toward “keeping the peace” rather than pursuing justice. The message that family unity matters more than individual safety can be devastating for someone already questioning their worth. 

Fear of not being believed runs deep in our society. Despite growing awareness, victim-blaming attitudes persist. Survivors worry about having their motives questioned, their past scrutinised, or their account dismissed. This fear isn’t unfounded; it reflects real experiences many survivors have faced when seeking help. 

The Impact of Withdrawal 

Case withdrawal carries consequences that ripple far beyond the courtroom. In the short term, survivors may experience a complex mix of emotions: relief from the pressure of legal proceedings, but also frustration, disappointment, and sometimes regret. The decision to withdraw can feel like both self-preservation and self-betrayal simultaneously. 

The long-term impact often includes a deepened sense of isolation. Survivors may feel they’ve let down supporters who encouraged them to report or worry that withdrawing somehow validates the abuser’s narrative that the abuse wasn’t “that serious.” The emotional toll of abandoning a case can manifest as depression, anxiety, and a profound loss of faith in systems meant to protect them. 

It’s crucial to understand this: withdrawing does not mean the abuse wasn’t real or valid. Your experience matters regardless of what happens in a courtroom. Your truth doesn’t require legal validation to be meaningful and significant. 

Staying Safe During the Legal Process 

Safety must remain the top priority for survivors who choose to continue with their cases. Legal proceedings can span months or years, and maintaining one’s well-being throughout this journey requires planning and support. 

Safety planning becomes even more critical during legal proceedings. This means having secure places to stay, trusted people who know your situation, and emergency plans for different scenarios. Consider what you’ll do if the abuser contacts you, if you feel unsafe at home, or if you need immediate support during court appearances. 

Building strong support networks can make the difference between surviving and thriving during this process. While family and friends are important, we know that professional support is often vital. At TEARS Foundation, we are here for you 24/7 through our free helpline on 0800 00 55 55 and you can also reach us by dialling *134*7355# to find help and services closest to you. For those who prefer, we are available via WhatsApp on 010 590 5920, making it easy to connect in the way that feels safest for you. Our team provides guidance with protection orders, police follow-ups, and safe-exit planning, so you never have to face the system on your own. We also walk beside survivors through the court process, from emotional support during hearings to practical help with logistics, because we believe no one should ever feel isolated on their journey to justice and healing.  

Documenting everything protects you and strengthens your case. Keep records of any intimidation, harassment, or contact from the abuser or their associates. Save threatening messages, note dates and times of concerning incidents, and report violations of protection orders immediately. This documentation serves as both evidence and validation of your ongoing experience. 

Legal protection options exist to help keep you safe while your case proceeds. Protection orders, restraining orders, and other legal mechanisms can provide some barrier between you and your abuser. While no legal document can guarantee safety, these tools can offer additional layers of protection and legal recourse if violations occur. From court preparation to emotional support, knowledgeable advocates can help you navigate the system more confidently and safely.  

The Hidden Scars 

Abuse doesn’t just leave physical scars; it leaves emotional and mental ones too, scars that make people feel isolated, alone, and unsure of themselves. Survivors often second-guess their truths and carry the heavy weight of what they’ve endured. The psychological impact can include what experts call “learned helplessness,” where repeated trauma convinces the mind that resistance is futile. This psychological reality makes the decision to report incredibly brave, and the decision to withdraw equally understandable. Your brain, having been conditioned by trauma, is often trying to protect you in the only way it knows how. These responses aren’t weaknesses, they’re survival mechanisms developed through experiences no one should have to endure. 

To every woman who has ever withdrawn a case or who is in the process: you are not alone, and your choices and decisions are valid and they matter. You are allowed to feel however you do. Your decision-making capacity hasn’t been diminished by your experiences; it’s been shaped by them, and you remain the expert on your own life and safety. 

If You’re Considering Withdrawing 

If you’re currently facing this difficult decision, know this first and foremost: You are not alone, and you are not to blame. Whatever choice you make, you deserve support and understanding, not judgment or pressure. 

Before making your final decision, consider taking some time to reflect on these questions: 

• Are you feeling pressured to withdraw by outside forces, or does this feel like a decision you’re making freely? 
• What specific risks would withdrawal reduce for you? What risks might it potentially increase? 
• What support systems do you have in place regardless of your legal decision? 
• Have you had the opportunity to speak with counsellors or legal advisors who specialise in GBV cases? 

These questions aren’t meant to push you in any particular direction; they’re meant to help ensure that whatever decision you make feels truly yours. Sometimes talking through these questions with a trained counsellor can help clarify your thoughts and feelings. 

Seeking counselling or legal advice before making final decisions can provide a valuable perspective. TEARS and other organisations offer confidential consultations where you can explore your options without pressure or judgment. These conversations can help you understand all available choices and their potential consequences. 

Remember: support continues regardless of your legal decision. Healing, safety planning, and building a life free from abuse don’t depend on courtroom outcomes. Your journey toward wellbeing is separate from and more important than any legal proceeding. 

A Call to Our Community 

To friends, family members, and community members who support survivors: your role is crucial, but it must be approached with wisdom and restraint. Listen without judgment when survivors talk about withdrawal. Resist the urge to convince, persuade, or pressure them toward any decision. 

Instead, focus on: 

• Affirming their right to make their own choices 
• Offering practical support regardless of their decision 
• Connecting them with professional resources when appropriate 
• Maintaining consistent support throughout their journey 

To professionals working within the system: recognise that case withdrawal often indicates system failures, not survivor failures. When survivors feel safer withdrawing than proceeding, we must examine what barriers we’re creating and what support we’re failing to provide. 

Reclaiming Your Power 

Whatever path you choose, remember that you have the right to reclaim your power and define your journey toward healing and safety. This might happen within the legal system, or it might happen despite it. Both paths are valid. 

Your worth isn’t determined by whether you report, whether you proceed with prosecution, or whether you secure a conviction. Your worth is inherent, unchanged by the actions of others or the outcomes of legal proceedings. 

Moving Forward 

The conversation about GBV case withdrawal isn’t about encouraging survivors to stay in the system or leave it; it’s about ensuring that whatever choice they make is informed, supported, and respected. It’s about building a system that deserves survivors’ trust and a society that honours their autonomy. 

Every survivor’s journey is different. Some find empowerment through legal proceedings; others find it through walking away and focusing on healing. Both paths require immense courage and deserve our respect and support. 

To every survivor reading this: Your voice matters. Your experience is valid. Your choices are your own. Whether you’re amid legal proceedings, considering withdrawal, or have already made your decision, you deserve support, respect, and the space to heal in your way and in your own time. 

The weight of these decisions can feel invisible to others, but it’s very real to you. You don’t have to carry this burden alone. Reach out, seek support, and remember that your well-being matters more than any statistic, any case outcome, or anyone else’s expectations. 

Your journey continues beyond any courtroom, and that journey is entirely and rightfully yours to define. 

If you or someone you know needs support, please reach out to TEARS Foundation at 010 590 5920. Support is available 24/7, regardless of where you are in your journey. 

TEARS Foundation also offers: 

• 24/7 crisis support 
• Court preparation and accompaniment 
• Counselling services 
• Safety planning assistance 
• Legal information and referrals 
• Support groups 
• Practical assistance with protection orders