When Money Is Used to Control: Understanding Financial Abuse in Gender-Based Violence

It’s in this spirit of respect and empowerment that we want to talk about an often-overlooked topic: financial abuse. While conversations around abuse often focus on physical or emotional harm, financial abuse is a deeply harmful, and unfortunately common—form of control that can strip individuals of their independence, security, and confidence. It can be subtle or overt, but in all its forms, it undermines a person’s autonomy and ability to make choices for themselves.

By shedding light on financial abuse, we hope to empower survivors, educate communities, and encourage open dialogue. Everyone deserves to feel safe, supported, and in control of their own life—including their finances. Let’s break the silence and start a conversation that could change lives.

What Is Financial Abuse?

Financial abuse is one of the quietest forms of gender-based violence, and yet, its impact can echo loudly through someone’s life. It’s when money or control over finances is used to isolate, intimidate, or take away a person’s independence.

Unlike physical abuse, financial abuse doesn’t leave visible scars, but its effects can cut deep, affecting your sense of freedom, confidence, and even your ability to make choices for yourself. And while it’s a topic rarely discussed, it’s one that’s vital to understand—it’s something that can happen to anyone.

Common Tactics of Financial Abuse

Financial abuse doesn’t always look the same. It can take many forms and often hides in everyday situations. For example:

Not allowing access to wages or bank cards
Stopping someone from working, or pressuring them to quit their job
Forcing debt into someone’s name
Monitoring and critiquing every purchase Using access to children or support grants (like SASSA payments) as leverage

These behaviours aren’t just about money, they’re about control. Financial abuse takes away a person’s ability to make their own choices, leaving them feeling trapped and powerless.

The Hidden Cost of Control

This simple phrase captures the reality that so many women live every day. Care work,—raising children, running a household, and supporting elderly relatives—is crucial, real work. But here’s the heartbreaking truth: it often goes unpaid, unappreciated, and taken for granted.

When this kind of unpaid labour is turned into a tool for control, it can have deeply emotional and financial consequences. Survivors of financial abuse often find themselves:

Feeling stuck in homes they can’t afford to leave
Struggling to save money, access credit, or plan for the future
Living with stress, anxiety, and mental exhaustion arising from constant financial strain

If you’ve experienced financial abuse or are living with it now, know this: you’re not alone. Support is out there, and understanding the dynamics of financial control is often the first step toward reclaiming your freedom and independence.

You deserve safety, respect, and the ability to thrive. Let’s keep talking about these issues. So the silence surrounding financial abuse is replaced with understanding, compassion, and action.

What Does the Law Say?

In South Africa, financial abuse is recognised under the Domestic Violence Act. This law covers more than just physical violence. It also includes economic abuse, such as:

Unreasonably denying someone financial support
Withholding money for essential household needs
Blocking someone from seeking or keeping a job

If you’re experiencing any of this, you have the right to apply for a protection order that includes financial control. But we know that legal action is only part of the journey. Survivors need trusted support, safety planning, and someone in their corner.

TEARS Foundation Can Help – Here’s How

If you or someone you know is facing financial abuse, the TEARS Foundation is here for you, any time, day or night. We offer confidential, non-judgemental help from trained professionals who understand what you’re going through.

Here’s how we can support you:

Helping you create a safety plan
Guiding you through your legal rights
Connecting you with shelters, lawyers, or emergency services

Call the TEARS Foundation Helpline: 08000 TEARS / 08000 8327

One call could help change your life. You don’t have to go through this alone.

Reclaiming Your Power: Steps You Can Take

If financial control is part of your life right now, know this: there are ways to start regaining your independence. Even small steps can make a big difference.

Here are some practical things you can do:

Open a private savings account, saving even a little can give you a sense of control
Use a free budgeting app or worksheet to track your spending
Reach out to a social worker or NGO for help with income support, shelter, or legal guidance
Visit the TEARS Foundation website or call our helpline to learn more about your options

You deserve to make choices about your own life. And there are people ready to help you do just that.

Who Needs to Act?

This conversation isn’t just for survivors, it’s for everyone. Each of us can play a role in ending financial abuse and supporting economic justice.

This message is for:

Women in caregiving roles, to name what’s happening and push back against control
Survivors, to know that financial abuse is real, and you deserve support
Employers, to build flexible, safe workplaces for women
NGOs and policymakers, to push for access to financial resources and microfinance
Social workers and educators, to raise awareness and offer tools for change

Take Action

Take a stand against financial abuse.

Acknowledge financial abuse as a serious form of GBV
Don’t look away, report it, speak out, support survivors
Call the TEARS Foundation Helpline: 08000 TEARS / 08000 83277, or go to your nearest police station
Share resources and stories using #WorkOfCare
Support policies that strengthen women’s financial freedom

Because Care Is Work. And It Deserves Protection.

To every caregiver, mother, and woman doing unseen work each day: your love and labour are valuable, and they should never be used to hold you back.

It’s time to protect women’s economic rights.
It’s time to speak openly about financial abuse.
It’s time every woman had the freedom to shape her own story.